circle wall chasm separation

it's funny how small my big circle of singapore friends is. as i recollect back, i know a female bassist/designer... who knows a music activist (can i call her that?)... who knows a female dj/lighting tech at a famous disco... who knows a female gig photographer... who in turn knows another few female person that i also know, and lo and behold... they know e. as well...

and it's funny reading their blog/phlog/multiply/etc. and finding out that e. drops a message here and there from time to time, stalking behind those words on the other side of mine. and i drop my own comments here and there as well. we are always out of sync... never in the same comment box, never replying to the same entries and she careful to not run into me in this virtual circle of friends, circumventing the invisible circle. seeing her replies, reading them, its funny how a few words that she writes can break the iron man in me easily. and for all that's worth, that makes me feel fucked up knowing she's just right over there, just beyond the horizon, right there behind the few common friends we both share. just slightly out of reach and slightly out of sub atomic sync vibration with my longing molecules... so thus, i appear to not exist to her and her, to me...

so is my sacrificing 8 years all for naught? tell me that i sacrificed an 8 year relationship for something and not this nothing that sits in the place where once i had love. is my pining for you so wrong? do lovers not pine for the empty space, the gap between their arms where a body once rested to be filled once again? did your heart not beat in time, next to mine when we lay like 6 and 9, like two perfect inverted commas, with our hands in each others grasp? was there no supernova heatwave emissions when you reached out to eagerly press my body on yours against the wall in that dark hallway? was there no electriclovearcs when we locked lips earnestly? do you forever refuse this heart-throne-crown-nation that you once love-sat-wore-ruled and suddenly refused so hastily? is my melodramatic emo pleas so overbearing? that you see fit to just keep me in this yesnomaybe limbo to suffer? tell me something, anything... anything is better than this brutal nothing...

All the subtle flavours of my life have become
Bitter seeds and poisoned leaves without you
You represent what's true
I drain the colour from the sky
And turn blue without you

These arms lack a purpose
Flapping like a humming bird
I'm nervous cuts
I'm the left eye, you're the right
Would it not be madness to fight
We come one

In you the song which rights my wrongs
In you the fullness of living
The power to begin again
From right now
In you, in you, in you...

We come one
We come one
We come one

I'm unafraid
Never never scared
Worries washed, pressed air
I'm the left eye, you're the right
Would it not be madness to fight?

We come one
We come
One





Track Of The Day: Faithless - We Come One