Wednesday, July 28, 2004

i never felt like this before

She's coming for a visit... and I'm so overjoyed. her, my favorite almostalwaysneverthere girl... beautiful 21 years old... smart... witty... spontaneous... free spirit... a lawyer to be... my personalangel... my life's adoration...

".....I like giving and receiving physical affection. don't mistake my holding your hand with endless love....."

This line she said struck me like a tons of bricks. So should I hold my fluttering heart still when she stands next to me? Pretend everything is fine and dandy when all I want is to hug her close to me and plant a wet, adoring kiss on her forehead or put my nose on her scalp and breath in her scent? So should I put my hands in my pockets? Pretend that I do not want to hold her small, soft hand in mine, carressing and stroking her every finger absent-mindedly? So should I keep conversations to common topics and not stray into vows of undying devotion? Should I not mention to her, for all that's worth that she is the girl I would like to spend my life with eventhough I barely know her? Should I look away everytime she looks at me because I fear that if I look at her eyes any longer, I would fall even more hopelessly into her......



Track Of The Day: Shaznay Lewis - I Never Felt Like This Before.

5 Comments:

Blogger ejl said...

eh you. why you put up such an embarrassing post?! wah lau... don't start sounding like some psycho-stalker-ex-boyfriend that i know of. any more of this talk and i'll cancel my trip and never see you ever again. because i run away from things i can't handle. hmph.

3:14 PM  
Blogger seth.frostheart said...

lolzx... just waxing poetrical feelings and emotions la... dont mind me, its the blog drama thats getting to me.. :P

oh no.. dont cancel ur trip down!~ *quiver in fear* DON'T!!~ *sobs*

^^

4:06 PM  
Blogger The Ciggie said...

frostheart: i admire you, to be honest with your feelings and admitting it. i mean this happens to both males and females, perhaps more so the females (correct me if I am wrong)
the thing is, sometimes when we feel that he / she is the one we would like to get to know better and get closer to, therefore we bare our hearts to them, but he/she would just flip us over like flipping a page of a distastful magazine, making us unsure about ourselves, and doubting our worths.
therefore, we learnt to protect ourselves and let our hearts grow callus...in turn, we will hurt the next heart that comes round, stripping bare before us.
this is just a vicious cycle, which falls into the which-come-first-egg-or-chicken talk. And sadly, there is no right or wrong answers, no what you should and you should not do.....just go with your heart and do what you feel most comfortable with. worse scenerio, you can always come back and blog about it, and receive comforting words from fellow blogger :D

10:16 PM  
Blogger ejl said...

awww.... i was just joking! anyway, i've heard enough of your poetic lyrical waxings over the last decade.. no, half-decade. no. three-quarter. hmm. this has been going on too long. i need to get a life. hahaha.

oh yah, i've just realised that i am the ultimate broke... i think when i go to kl i'll have to eat plain rice and peanuts. the bloody diving trip is draining away my finances in an unbelievable way. i'm actually embarking on a credit system now, and i hate buying anything on credit. it spoils my mood completely. bah.

anyway, dept folks are evil-eyeing me. i shall return to the perilous world of MS Word now... formatting documents and implementing directives were never so fraught with danger, filled with excitement at every tap of the tab key. wee hee! *rolls eyes and dies*

9:44 AM  
Blogger ejl said...

i am bored. BORED BORED BORED. i refuse to be a workbot. i hate clerical work. i hate hate hate hate hate all his bureaucratic confidential information nonsense!

on another note, i got my cheque today for half of my pay. wee hee~! and that will go toward paying off my debt for my dive trip. :(

2:15 PM  

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