silentroomwhitenoise...

My heart left a few days noon ago on a SIA flight back to UK... I feel strangely empty. This dull, soundless sorta silentroomwhitenoise... with the window blinds closed and the lights turned off... When the world outside is suspended between nightfall and daybreak... Where everything is silent, and you can hear the drips from the leaky faucet in the bathroom. I guess I dont feel achy(well, not much) anymore... Maybe a slight daggertwisttwingesadness and the occasional stabbedintheheartouchies whenever I let myself float away from work and remember her smile or her touches... but that doesnt mean I love her any less or I miss her no longer... This distance, I've never liked it cos it has caused me so much trouble in the past. I worry whenever she needs an arm to hold her... Cos' shes just like me: a creature that craves highly physical stimulis and comforts... And she has never lacked arms to hold her, or rather she would never have to try and look them for like I do... I could be jealous(because its easier for her?) but that's a good sign yes? I never thought I could be jealous... There was so many open relationships... so many swap arounds, yours and mine, ups and downs... but she fired up the green eyed monster machine in me... and its churning out little green imps that whispers things I do not want to hear in my ears... And I think for once, I truly felt serious jealousy... but in actual fact, that creates clashes within me to no end because I'm such a masochist(e. would know what I'm saying *smiles*) Ah, the two facets at eternal loggerheads... maso-logic versus chauva-emotion, alternative versus straight-lace...

So yea... she said she's applying for internship nearer to me... Well, I hope she gets it. It would definitely be wonderful news. To spend more time with her and to spoil her like she knows I will. And I'm doing my little bit towards the 'us' cause *laughs* She knows how I try *grins* Hope it takes us to where we want to go yea?

"Restless tonight... Cause I wasted the light... Between both these times... I drew a really thin line... It’s nothing I planned... And not that I can... But you should be mine... Across that line..."




Track Of The Day: Finger Eleven - One Thing