Thursday, January 06, 2005

ink project 2005: filling the hollow

Okay, here's the first ink project for the year of 2005.

It's either this or a trip somewhere but I have yet to get any confirmation from a friend regarding of her availability to be back in town for CNY... Why waste money saved eh? *chuckles n sighs*

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credits to Brandon Boyd of Incubus for a great stylised religious tattoo. 2nd one from him that I'm gonna put on my body ^^

Track Of The Day: A Perfect Circle - Hollow

seeking solace in a perfect circle

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Threw you the obvious
And you flew with it on your back
A name in your recollection
Down among a million, say:
Difficult enough to feel a little bit
Disappointed, passed over.
When I've looked right through,
To see you naked and oblivious
and you don't see me

Well I threw you the obvious,
Just to see if there's more behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel,
Eyes of a tragedy.

Here I am expecting just a little bit
Too much from the wounded
But I see,
See through it all,
See through,
And see you.

So I threw you the obvious
Do you see what occurs behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy

Well, oh well..

Apparently nothing.
Apparently nothing at all.

You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me at all

Track Of The Day: A Perfect Circle - Three Libras

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Of lolitas and NY eve

Here I was, invited to and having a pre-NYE dinner at a friend's place. We had the usual spread of meats, which includes the customary Turkey and copious amounts of red wine. So after having dinner, the group adjourned to the living room for more wine and animated discussions/arguments. I joined in but slowly lost interest in their conversation. I looked around and noticed a young girl, maybe about 14-15 years old, sitting in the 2nd living room. Me looking at her caught her attention, I smiled at her and she smiled back. She had that Jojo thing going on: long straight highlighted hair... wavy at the ends, fair and skinny... she sat cross-legged on the 2nd hall sofa watching MTV, in a simple white boy singlet and light blue jeans. That's the very one thing that does me in everytime: White boy's singlet / white baby T and faded blue jeans on a girl, nyum... haha! ^^

"Eh eh... that's my youngest sister...", Ellie caught me looking and gave me a nudge.

I laughed and shrugged, "Just being friendly, that's all..."

"Yea yea.. you and your being friendly... She's only 15 okay? If she was older, I wouldn't mind... ", She warned.

I laughed again and nodded, "Okay... okay... duly noted... But anyways, it wouldn't harm her if I just talk to her right? She seems kinda lonely"

She sighed and said, "Okay.. just talk.. AND KEEP YOUR HANDS BY YOUR SIDE, WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!!", laughs.

So I strolled over, introduced myself, sat down and spoke to Terri. I do sincerely find teenage girls fascinating. Not in a paedophilic way mind you(well maybe slightly... I'm a dirty old man after all, hur hur hur) but teenage girls have an air of maturity peaking in them(Woi! Keep those dirty "peaking" thoughts at bay! I know you guys! Yes.. you know who you are! :P), are worldly and smart for their age compared to the immature boys... well at least those that I met/know are. And I remember still being one of the immature boys myself, hooked on saturday morning cartoons and toys... hey wait, I still am hooked on those *chuckles* Some things never change, lol.

So yea... we sat and talked and laughed at each others jokes and argued with each other's opinions. Me and my calm, adult demeanor and she and her young, spirited giggles and highly animated laughs. By the end of the night, we were sitting a few inches closer, brushing each other intentionally on the hands, shoulder bumping and slapping each other's arms lightly and looking at each other with genuine interest. Not a good sign, my head told me... but my heart told me fuck it... see what this will lead to. I looked over my shoulders, feeling stabbing stares and I can see my friend is giving me frowns. I nodded, okay... I understand. So when we left her house early in the morning, she stood by her sister, smiling to me. I smiled back but turned on a cold front immediately to get the message through. She understood... confused but she knew what I meant.

As we walked towards our cars, a friend jokingly told me, "Hey, you got another admirer.."

I smiled, "nah.. better leave it as it is... she's too young anyways... and I didn't do anything bad with her okay?"

"Oh yes you did, you played with her young heart, haha. We can see everything all the way from the first hall, dude. Y'know, they seem to be getting younger aren't they? Becareful Seth, young girls fall hard.", another friend smiled as she placed her hand on my shoulder.

It wasn't too long ago, I was discussing with Ellie about Nabokov's book and the lolita syndrome and she came clean with me. You see, Ellie herself was a year or two younger than I am but she's involved with a much older divorcee. Not exactly something to be proud of, I helped kept this dirty little secret of hers from her parents. 9 months and counting, this relationship and I don't see it ending anytime soon. He treats her good and she relishes the attention of an older man whom, I quote "...treats me the way a man should treat a girl..."

Whichs brings me to a point: why is it, inherrently always that an older man will treat a girl better compare to a younger boy? well maybe not always better but the general consesus amongst the girls is that they do better, more often than young guys. And whats this attraction between an older man and a younger girl and vice versa. A forbidden fruit for the older man? A pillar of stability(emotional and financial) for the younger girl? So what's wrong when they both have what they want from each other? The forbidden, emotional and financial stability versus the moral and ethical. Pros and cons on both sides of the fence. Pros and cons depending on which side of the fence you're standing.

I for one find nothing wrong being in a relationship with a younger girl but I do draw the line at the 8 year gap limit... heck, maybe 12 years, lets make it one full Chinese horoscope cycle aye?^^ A friend of mine, aged 35 is happily married with a 23 year old girl. they just had their first baby a few months back. At least something good came out of my friend's lolita syndrome, lol.

So maybe 15 is too young for a 29-30 year old like me *grins* maybe I should keep my eye on a particular someone who's 8 years younger than me, lol. Yes you... you know who you are ^^

Where ever you are...

Track Of The Day: Outkast - Prototype

reasons of hiatus

Sorry for being incomunicado guys. December has been pretty crappy for me by all accounts. My life... my work... and my personal endeavours-wise. Will post something substantial soon to cover back for the lost times, so to say. Meanwhile, we had another company dinner... What's with my new place and company dinners? Tsk tsk.. this time around its a pre-xmas bash. We had the usual catering and we bought our bottles of Absoluts(yum...), JD(mmm.. mmmmm...) and Black Labels(?!). Black Labels you say? Don't ask me why.. I never touch that stuff... that's like those old uncle's coffee shop liquor but most of my drunken workmates would beg to differ, downing BL like theres no tomorrow, hur hur. Mebbe cos' I finished up all the Absolut and JD with another group of workmates, heh :P

Well, here's some alcohol induced shaky hand ugly fella snaps, lol. Laters...

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