Monday, June 28, 2004

The Doors

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*knock knock* hello... I love you...

Track Of The Day: The Doors - Hello, I Love You

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Of love, grocery shopping, labels and shelf life stickers.

Love is a weird thing. I came up with a bizzare metaphor yesterday night while buying groceries with my some of my friends. While they were picking out some canned goods, I stepped towards them with a can of green peas in my hand, thinking and told them that I feel love is like groceries sitting on the supermarket shelf waiting to be picked up. But the catch is that they are sitting there, without labels or shelf life stickers... no details, no explanations, no signs of what the contents are... jut a silver colored tin can sitting there, sans.. everything. You won't know what you will be picking up, neither will you know how long it will last. When you open the can back at home, they might just have already expired and there are some that last a life time and there are some that you don't want because its not what you're looking for, even if the expiry date isn't over yet... And sometimes two people might be fighting over a can of peas cos' its the last one of that particular brand on the shelf or someone else could be standing there all day, trying to pick between two different brands of pasta sauce... Such parrarels between relationships and groceries, it's uncanny...

I know it's weird... this metaphor thingie that I came up with... but I just can help thinking and putting it in such a perspective... Bah, the perils of grocery shopping with a roaming mind.. ^^

Heck, better get cracking... as in looking for a job elsewhere. The ship could be sinking and I don't wanna go down with it. Fill you guys in on the details later... Frost out...

Track Of The Day: John Mayer - Clarity

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Perihal cintaku pada mu

I dreamt about you yesterday... I dreamt about you and your camera in your hand, gliding effortlessly through the crowds. I dreamt you were smiling, snapping pictures, talking to everybody... the darling of the crowd... the insatiable angel... I dreamt that you looked over your shoulders and smiled the most wonderful smile at me and you reached out for my hand... The notsobrightslightlywarm sun shone on your shimmering black hair and lighted up your wonderful features... You came closer and gave me a wonderful peck on my lips... I was taken aback... surprised and happy... You, my favorite stranger... showing me affection in front of your friends... You made me fall in love with you all over again....

But unfortunately..

I do not have your love... I never will... Time... Distance... separates us like an ever widening chasm... I barely know you anymore... I barely know you at all... Passing moments shared and fleeting hi-bye-smiles given are the only things that we have exchanged... I want more... For you to lie in my arms, next to me... For us to share the same breath... Skin to skin... Eye to eye... Mouth to mouth... But will come true? I write to you so many times but you never write back... My mails all go unanswered, my words are like echos ringing back... silent, empty...

I misslovecrushlust you... Do you know that? I really do.....





Track Of The Day: Gigi - Perihal Cinta

Thursday, June 17, 2004

A love song about betterlovedays...

Well, I finished all my work yesterday. The whole boring she-bang, the whole sleep inducing boogaloo.. *blek* So the only work left to do today is to render the whole bunch of compositions... yayzorz!~ A whole day of doing nothing... cos basically I can't do shit on the comp, and if the boss walks in, I would say:

"I can't use the comp, it's rendering for at least another 3 hours can't you see?" *points to the machine and whines* *chuckles* Evil evil me...

So now... here I am in the office, sitting on the big, plsuh sofa in my room with my beloved 4-string Ibanez SDGR Bass(blue stained soft wood.. sexay^^) plugged into my equally adored Peavey amp*strokes amp* Ah the bliss^^ Well I caught 311's Love Song on Channel V today. Can't say I hate it, but neither is it one of my favorite covers. Fortunately, the reggae, laid back sound really gives a different angle to the song.. and it attracts me somewhat. The Cure's version was a sad, heartstring tugging sorta song. Maybe it's Robert's vocals. 311's version gave me a "I-don't-care-if-it-ends-but-please-dont-end-it" kinda feeling. Hrm, you go figure^^

Well, please excuse me while I travel back in my mind and reminisce of betterlovedays while strumming the bassline to The Cure's version of Love Song... Laters...

Track Of The Day: 311 - Love Song(OST 50 First Date)

Monday, June 14, 2004

Come run away with me

I was having a light conversation about Pablo Neruda's writings with XXX a while back. Now this was a writer we both could relate to because his poetry just oozes immense longing and love lost. And there is this particular poem we both have a liking for and everytime we read it, it puts a hint of ache in our hearts:

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.

Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.

Halfway through the conversation, she popped me a surprising question:

"Say Seth... would you run away with me? Just the 2 of us to Chile, to his birth village and watch the sun set/rise on the place he grew up in or to Argentina and hang out at his favorite cafe, drinking coffee and smoking cigars. Would you do that for me? Run away with me and leave everything behind?"

I thought about it and smiled, "I WOULD.. you know I will.. I'm a hardcore romanticist like that *laughs* That is if I've gotten my priorities in place..."

"Oh? And what would you priorities be?"

"Well, lets just say.. a few million ringgit in the bank. Have to make sure when I come back after 10 years of travelling.. I won't have to work my ass off just to get by in my old age. And a few sons to carry on the family name, heck I'm a traditionalist like that..."

She laughed, "Well I guess in that case.. it will be never then!~"

"Well never is kinda premature and harsh conclusion", I added, "maybe later, when we're 40 or something..." I rolled my eyes and smiled.

She laughed harder this time, "What... and leave my kids and husband behind? Well, that is IF I do get married at all and IF you could drag yourself away from your family!~"

We both laughed silently at our own glowing monitor and sat back to absorb to idea. Maybe we would make it happen, because longinglovedesire is a two way thing after all...

Track Of The Day: No Doubt - Running

Friday, June 11, 2004

Use the l33t haxxorz speakzorz

I'm starting to add "..zorz" to almost every word I type now when I talk to Savves and Zen O.o and also instead of saying" the" , I use "teh"... I mean like wtfzorz? Since when do I do l33t haxxorz talk? GAH!~ Stop brainwashing me u l33t haxxorz kidzorz dammit!~ I'm too old for all this kinda talk :P Everyday, after a daily chat with them on MSN Messenger, I have to de-program myself so when I get home to my girl, I can actually converse with her in normal speak so she won't look at me all weird and stuff. Bah, fuckzorz...

My main HDD konked out on me a week back(using back up HD#2 now) with all my design work, WIPs and pron(crap, haxor talk... porn dammit.. PORN!~). I dunno how much I must spend to get the damn thing to work again. I'd figure it's the norm after "contracting" Blaster, SoBig, Gaobot etc etc.. all in one go. Yes, you read right... I got all of those in one go. I solely put the blame on ROing and connecting to the net. Keeping my fingers crossed its only the FAT system because that alone could cost me up to RM500/- to fix O.o If its hardware... the bill could run up to RM1k.. minimum.. double fuckzorz.

Track Of The Day: Trapt - Echo

Thursday, June 10, 2004

I wanna sleep with u can?

I took emergency today, on the prentense that I have something to do at some govermental department and my good and naive head of design bought the whole fib.. line n sinker^^ man am I an evil, evil person or am I an evil, evil person... muahahaha! Well, I had to do it... pre-final WIP deadline for a interactive CD job at my own start up: friday, which means I have slightly less than 24 hours to do it O.o(today's thursday) Mwahahaha!~ Fire up the pressure cooker!~ But I must digress, I work extremely well under short deadlines, give me a longer one and i'll tend to slack off... googling up nonsense or spend my time idling away as a little acolyte in the virtual world of mRO.

During a hiatus(read: slacking off) from designing the interface, I had this interesting chat on msn messenger with this wonderful specimen of a female friend of mine. You see, this girl is the type of girl I would marry without a forethought just for her vibrancy, spunkiness, wit, intelligence and sarcasm :P And I think she's one of the few rare ones than can actually give me a physical and a mental hardie *winks and laughs* But heck, she definitely more than that to me of course!~ lolzx... I hope she knows that!~ Anyways, we were talking and I popped her a weird question:

"How do I get a good friend to sleep with me platonically and still remain a good friend after that?"

and she answered:

"Just ask her..."

O.o Just ask? Goodness... I doubt such forwardness would work? Just walk up to this particular girl and say, "Hi X, how are you today?^^ By the way, would you sleep with me?" Nope, nope.. I'm known to be gung ho, but I'm ain't that gung ho my Princess^^ I want this girl's lasting friendship as much as I want her luscious bod *laughs* But Princess did add:

"...but seriously if u wld spoil a wonderful friendship cos of your horniness then you are only worth this much..."

Hrm, true... but how am I spoiling the friendship? It's not a wham-bam-thank-you-cya session.. it's gonna be a two way thing and for all it's worth, I wouldn't want it to be a one night stand. I still wanna see her, hang out with her etc. But still I think there will be complications later no? Buddy sexing is never as simple as its made out to be(no pun intended :P) Thanks anyways for the input^^ Anyways, gotta get back to work.. I've been slacking off far too long.... Latersz...

Track Of The Day: Velvet Revolver - Slither

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

decisions and double parkings

Work has been pretty much slow on my day job. I'm back to slacking off and doing my usual routine of googling for nonsense on the WWW. I've been here for about 7-8 months and seriously, this job is boring the shits out of me *bleah*. Not much design challenges, not much work either :P. I've resorted to being a drone/factory like worker.. churning out a whole slew of mediocre designs at most and heck, my 'design eye' has been suffering/deteriorating big time because of that. Though I have been contemplating some offers, I do sit back and look at the bigger picture: stay here with an average pay, with a below average workload so I have more time for my own design studio OR move back to TV commercials design that has a higher pay, with a WAY higher workload and totally neglect my own design studio and I might add, my design studio(which I've started with some friends) is doing pretty well. hrmmm, decisions decisions...

On another matter, here's one question... how long does it take for someone who's sitting just a few feet away, having his fucking breakfast to get up off his fucking ass and move his fucking double parked car when you've been jamming on the horn for the pass fucking five minutes? This particular idiot cooly walked towards me with a 'so what' look on his face. As I pulled out of my parking lot, I shouted out to him and gave him the bird... Asshole. Seriously, people... if your car blocks someone elses, have the courtesy to keep a look out because you just might be blocking me and the bird would not be the only thing I could be giving then because I'm definitely not a morning person...

Track Of The Day: Faithless - Mass Destruction

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

tekhnikolor projektor lives

Ah, so this is the phenomena they call Blogging. So after much thought and not to mention urgings from my fellow blogging buddies(which I might add.. are super hard core and has started blogging since.. oh a few years back :P), I've decided to jump on this bandwagon... I call it the modern way of "airing your dirty laundry", reaching a wider audience(read: strangers) and still remain anonymous in this WWW's ocean of blogs *chuckles*

Gone are the days of writing and mailing to "Dear.." columns in newspapers this week and waiting for the answers to be published next week... which in the meantime, A would've went out with B instead of C and spent the rest of her life a miserable wreck or X would've spent the rest of his life as a single, lonely, psychotic fuck just because he was too cowardly to speak to Y or etc etc.. *bleah* You get the picture. With this thingamajig... answers, kudos or brickbats can be directed and forcibly aimed/thrown at you for your stupidity/idiocity/moronity(insert other terms here) etc etc. Ah, and I've signed up for that I see... *laughs* Well, I hope my drab and mundane life is entertaining enough for the virtual voyeurs out there... because IT IS drab and mundane :P

Before I take my leave, I would like to add that I'm not new to blogging. I have diddled with and deleted numerous blogs, due to: crappy names/crappy entries/layout wasn't as hot as I think it would be etc etc. So here's the umpteen premutation of my virtual "dirty laundry" line. Hopefully it will get dirtier as time goes by..... Latersz...

Track Of The Day: Hoobastank - The Reason