Tuesday, April 26, 2005


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(digital photography[g.agung, bali], photoshop cs)

"Ogenki desuka, watashi wa genki desu.." - Quoted from Shinji Iwai's "Love Letter"

"How are you lately e.? I am fine... I guess..."

Track Of The Day: [your long distance phone call voice at 2am in the morning]

Friday, April 22, 2005


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(digital photography[tanah lot, bali], photoshop cs)

i never knew peace i until i found you

Track Of The Day: Third Eye Blind - Jumper

Thursday, April 21, 2005

7/passing houses, glimpses of you

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(lomography[passing houses], digital photography[e.], photoshop cs)

seven days, seven images, seven heart-felt proses for the seven months since i've last saw/held/kissed you...

seven missed calls back to back... too many smses to remember... unanswered. would it be another seven more seconds/minutes/hours/days/months/years before i see you again?

Track Of The Day: Ash - Starcrossed

Sunday, April 17, 2005


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(lomography[wedding studio], photoshop cs)

Track Of The Day: Oasis - Wonderwall

Saturday, April 16, 2005


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(digital photography[a common field], photoshop cs)

stealing kisses from you in the halls of sucasa, with your parents and siblings just two doors away. sharing cigarettes on white plastic deck chairs by the pool in the middle of the night, as the patrons of tapas stare out at us staring in at them. your hands reaching out to hold mine automatically. long rides in my yellow submarine around kl and pj. getting your tattoo done. having dinner with my parents. playing boggle on my bed, in my room. having you sleep on my lap as i trace the curves of your body with my hands.

all stolen away from me...

Track Of The Day: Idlewild - Love Steals Us From Lonliness

Friday, April 15, 2005


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(lomography[padi fields, kedah], photoshop cs)

is those few days a dream? were you even here? cos' i felt like you were neverthere...

"what's that you're wearing?", i asked, putting my face close to her neck. "you like it? it's elizabeth arden's green tea", she smiled, leaning closer into me. the tip of my nose brushed against the skin of her neck, sending electriclovearcs into me.

"yea, i like it... i like it a lot..."

Track Of The Day: Pete Murray - So Beautiful

Thursday, April 14, 2005


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(lomography[bowling alley], photoshop cs)

Track Of The Day: Midtown - Empty Like The Ocean

Wednesday, April 13, 2005


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(lomography[padi fields, kedah], photoshop cs)

Track Of the Day: Elbow - Fallen Angel

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

passing sucasa

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passing sucasa at 1am in the morning... it felt nothing like that day... the anticipation, the joy... all that's left is an empty void of longing and heartache... i seek to understand the whys and the reasons, to rectify the wrongs and to rejuvenate our feelings... but is not given the chance to do so...

i know you bruise easily my love... and i'm not ashamed to admit i bruise just as easy as you too...

Track Of The Day: Nirvana - Dumb


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(digital photography[Lake Kenyir], photoshop cs)

one missing blog, a dozen unanswered phone calls and smses since Thursday. is this the end?

Track Of The Day: Beck - Guess I'm Doing Fine

Monday, April 11, 2005

kasih tak sampai

Terasa indah..
Bila kita terbuai dalam alunan cinta..
Sedapat mungkin terciptakan rasa..
Keinginan saling memiliki
Namun bila,
Itu semua dapat terwujud
Dalam satu ikatan cinta
Tak semudah seperti yang pernah terbayang..
Menyatukan perasaan....

Tetaplah menjadi bintang dilangit
Agar cinta kita akan abadi
Biarlah sinarmu tetap menyinari alam ini,
Agar menjadi saksi cinta kita
Lambat sudah...
Kini semua harus berakhir
Mungkin inilah jalan yang terbaik
Dan kita mesti relakan kenyataan ini

Menjadi saksi kita berdua

Track Of The Day: Padi - Kasih Tak Sampai



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(digital photography[a common field], photoshop cs)

it's hard to say who's fault it is when things are the way it is now and it's not right blame either cos' some things are beyond our control... when in reality, we swing like overlapping sine/cosine waves. away from each other for the better part of our lives and coming together only momentarily...

cos' we were almostalwaysfarfaraway...

Track Of The Day: Beck - End Of The Day

Friday, April 08, 2005

sequential frames: kl dawn

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(downtown kl)

got home at 3am and woke up at 6:45am today... not fuckingdogtired eventhough i barely slept... i just look zoned out, like i took too many J hits...

took a long drive to work via downtown kl and back to pj again... didn't feel like i was driving, i felt so detached from my body... seriously, if i ran over someone downtown on the way to work, i won't even know i did. i just kept driving and stopping at red lights...

Track of The Day: Thievery Corp - Morning After

Thursday, April 07, 2005

heartaches the size of houses...

i'm still in the office. lately, sleep eludes me unless i'm totally exhausted from staying awake... so i don't bother going home early anymore just to lie on my bed for hours on end and stare at the celing boards, willing my eyelids to close. i stay behind to do my own stuff. watching, hoping for a message on msn from her but the silence is shattering. her handle has been on my offline list for three months... and still counting. only way i can feel her, to have a resemblace of what we shared before is to surf through her weblog. i read and reread her entries. and now i understand the weight and pain in this particular entry of hers, because this is exactly what i feel now:

she said, "these twilight hours when all are asleep but me. when there are no other illuminated windows. those bends in time when i'm propelled into another space and and another place, while sitting there still very much physically in the present. when the person whose company i'm craving for isn't there, but merely a figure in my imagination. these twilight hours i lapse into heartaches the size of houses.

And lately i've upgraded... traded in all my heartaches the size of houses for one the size of a small nation..."

Track Of The Day: Damien Rice - Blower's Daughter

Wednesday, April 06, 2005


me and sis aka cindy sat on the darkened balcony, smoking red marls+jane silently... watching the night skies open up a great torrent on the ground 15 stories below us. red tipped red marls+jane glowed orange-red on our heavily shadowed face... behind us in the dark living room, the radio tripped out to Thievery Corp... and brought us along for the audio-sensory ride...

she asked me, "Am i that transparent? so sepia-boring-toned?"

I said, "no... you're all color to me... some people just see black and white better..."

"it's a shame then..", she sighed, "i could have rocked his world in a technicolour lsd swirl..."

"I don't doubt that... cos' you're definitely all color to me", I smiled and she smiled back a rainbow at me...

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(image of cindy, x-ray taken from medical files, manipulated in photoshop cs)

Track Of The Day: Dj Shadow - 38.45.


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( digital photography, a past letter from e. and manipulated in photoshop CS)

there was once, a long time ago when i was "with you" on all those late nights, i could write... when i could weave my feelings and emotions into words... recently, when you were with me again, i found that i could take emotional snapshots and i've aquired the skills to will them into a cacophony of colors and feelings as i see fit...

and now... now i can weave them both together... so does it paint a picture for you my e.?

lately, i am missing you so damn much... i really do...

Track Of The Day: Athlete - Wires

Monday, April 04, 2005

3 times tragic - ode to Melissa AK

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(image of mel AK, manipulated in photoshop cs and illustrator cs)

It's funny how people in the same situation gravitates together, talk and bask in each other's pain... Just like 2 dying stars, ripped apart by each other's super gravitational field...

2 friends, 2 souls, same pain, different cause... my ode to you mel... just because you understand...

Track Of The Day: NIN- All That Could Have Been

Friday, April 01, 2005

blind faith

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(self photo, manipulated in photoshop cs)

Track Of The Day: Prodigy - Baby's Got A Temper